Wake me up, I've had enough.

Taking a second to complain about something.
I miss my mom.
I’m pissed my Aunt stopped talking to me.
I’m lost.
I need my license and a car.
I need to sign up for school.
I need help.
I need to move out of my house and move in with my boyfriend.
I’m sitting here while my boyfriend is on the computer, I’m trying not to cry. Its not working.
First world problems I guess.

Momma’s birthday…

Happy birthday to the most amazing woman I have ever known.
I miss you more and more everyday.
Most things I see in a day remind me of you and I can’t help but smile. You impacted my life so much and I just wish you were still here. I love your guts beautiful lady! butterfly kisses.

2 episodes if Gilmore Girls and snuggling. I can dig it. My boyfriend is too cute.

I’m 18. Happy birthday to me?

Hi mommy,
It’s been two years, two full years without seeing your beautiful face, hearing your sweet voice, or feeling your warmth. I love you and I really miss hearing you say that you ‘love me more’. I haven’t actually felt loved since the last time you told me you loved me more. I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry if I do things sometimes where I disappoint you or make you angry. I just want to make your proud.
I love your guts and I miss you like crazy.  Butterfly kisses beautiful. <3

I want it to be Tuesday though..is that too much to ask?
Can I just sleep until then?
Uhg. 
On Tuesday at this time I will be getting my tattoos done. alkfjasdkfjadfslkj
It doesn’t even seem real.  Yay.
I’m so excited. 

Looking up aftercare for tattoos and such.
2 weeks-ish to heal, keep it out of sunlight.
LOL I’m going to Florida the week after I get my tattoos.  Oh crap. 

High school. For sure the best, worst years of my entire life. I struggled with who I was the first year or so just like most and then even more during my junior year because my mom had passed the summer going into it. People stopped talking to me because they didn’t know how to act, I lost friends and I gained friendships I never ever want to lose. I found a group of friends that I love with every part of me and we have the best times together even if some of the things are stupid or completely illegal we have the memories and the laughs and that’s all that matters. I am so happy and I never thought I would ever say that. I love everything and I am so ready for this chapter to be over.  I am ready for the best summer of my entire life. 

Hey Mom,

I did it.  I made it through high school,can I die now. I graduate on Tuesday.  

Can I just get all of the seasons of Gilmore Girls on DVD?

Seriously I think I’m going to ask for the huge pack for my birthday…it’s $105 but I’ll be moving away in August and I won’t have a TV or cable so this is like PERFECT. 

Totez thinkin’ about asking for it…

This void…

Sometimes it would be really nice to have someone to talk to. 
Sometimes it would be really nice if someone actually cared.   

Thinking about this weekend really makes me miss my mom.  She would actually be somewhat interested in what happened, or at least pretend to care.  

Emotions suck, they suck so hard. 

It looks like it’s about to downpour, I wish it would so it can just sing me to sleep.. 

Wompwomppost.  

Missing my mom.

It’s been 1 year 10 months and 3 days since I last saw her perfect face and bright smile. 
It’s been longer than that since I actually heard her sweet voice telling me that she loved me more.  

It’s almost 1 AM.  I should go to sleep before I bore you all.  I don’t have my bed sheets…they are in the dryer.  Looks like I’m sleepin’ on blankets tonight.